Wednesday, 24 August 2016

A gymnast down

WALT: Write a narrative based on a picture of the modern Olympics.


Ella sat and looked upon her fellow competitors. She had a good stare at each gymnast station. In her head she knew that the beam was indeed the station she wanted to win in. Her coach came to her, “you’ve trained too hard to back out now”. She didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but the gymnast’s this year looked pretty high in the standards of gymnastics. “Miss Rasman”, the official called. “Miss Rasman, your up in twenty minutes”. Ella turned to the official and nodded. This was her year for three golds.


“No way I’m backing out now”, she told her coach. Ella faced her coach and he smiled. She then asked for some encouragement. A huddle was formed with Ella, her coach and her mother. Ella’s light brown hair bun, rested against her mother while her coach gave some encouraging words. “I hope that Ella Rasman will get a Gold and all her hard training will go to work”, her coach said.

It was time for the women's Olympic beam final. Ella had butterflies in her stomach caused by nervousness. She started the routine, before she knew it she was half way. With the splits in the air emotion came to her facials. Ella shook like crazy, fell and fainted. Without a blink of an eye the medical attention team came.

Image result for gymnasticsThere she lay on a medical bed. Only her mother and coach could see that. But when she gained consciousness, she was not sure with where she was. Her mother nor coach were there. Ella made a high pitch scream. Heavy puffing came from Ella as she was surprised. Surrounded her was four walls with two windows. An alarm went off next to her, it was 8:00 in the morning. That moment she realized it was all a dream (and she was in a hotel room). This was the actual day that Ella Rasman would compete for the beam final.  
The whole dream was a bit confusing. I guess her dream works are pretty mean to her. A flock of butterflies rushed down through Ella as she was about to compete in the beam. She was ready alright. That day she won gold and was presented her medal. Ella Rasman had won her Olympic dream(to win three golds)!



This week we wrote a narrative based on a picture. My picture was of Aly Raisman, a gymnast from the U.S.A. She has won three medals for Rio 2016. One gold and two silvers. When we edited our writing, some of us presented and read it to the class. One thing that my teacher said to check is the sentence types. Sentence types such as... simple sentences, compound sentences and complex sentences. Here is an example of a simple sentence. 
A splash appeared from behind the dolphin. Simple sentences only have one clause. Here is an example of a compound sentence.The man focused his eyes on the snow because the sun was to bright. Compound sentences have two clauses which is joined with a conjunction.  

3 comments:

  1. Hi Talita,
    I really enjoyed your writing about the picture you have chosen about the modern Olympics. I really enjoyed how you have written your sentences and including simple, compound and complex sentences.

    Your sincerely,
    Seini

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Talita,
    I really enjoyed your writing about the picture you have chosen about the modern Olympics. I really enjoyed how you have written your sentences and including simple, compound and complex sentences.

    Your sincerely,
    Seini

    ReplyDelete
  3. Talofa Talita. I love how you have used an effective range of sentences! I thought it was all happening too which shows how good your writing is! Can you tell me what this sentence is about? 'I guess her dream works are pretty mean to her'. Look forward to your reply

    ReplyDelete